嗷！感动激动地跑圈！已成为学英语的动力！开心！谢谢chelle，很荣幸！

Hirschen:

UU酱的《半醒》是我喜欢的为数不多的几篇独普文之一。

最近很累，想换换脑子，于是拿来翻译这篇文。
并没有逐字逐句安装原文翻译。However, I would say this "unfaithful to the sourcetext" should be somehow appreciated. ;)
我也想翻成德语，然而我的德语除了能跟基友们插科打诨并不能用来写作...【泪奔跑走

<Half-Awaken>

01.

Right at the bonfire, Gilbert asked “ What are you thinking about, West?”

“Nothing, Hauptmann.” Ludwig answered.

 

02.

New recruits has been continuously transported to the front along with military supplies since the battle with the Russian extended.

They look very young and were conscripted into the army without filter. You can recognize them easily by their clean and innocent faces, so different from the experienced guys who

survived the battles over the past year.

Gilbert noticed several new recruits walked towards him when he was fighting for a bite on the hard bread.

Without any surprises, they introduced themselves after saluted to their new boss one after another, as a routine.

"Good." Gilbert replied shortly "Now go and get to know the old fellows." He gave the first command with a piercing glance, as serious as a Hauptmann should be.

The new recruits answered and saluted in order, as an organized response to Gilbert.

After they've been dismissed, Gilbert tried to concentrate on his lunch though he felt like he should think about something. 

Eventually, the bread won.

He can't remember how many bunches of new recruits he has received. These fresh young men, been murdered by the cruel war, just like the tender lamb been sacrificed to the

monsters. Days passed by, the way Gilbert looked at them was extremely same like he looked at some non-durable weapons. No emotion, no mercy, but numb.

He was used to have some useless fellows in his troop, failed to shoot, failed to attack, failed to even retreat, no wonder it's always them who failed to survive. It has been already

exhausted to keep calm in this endless, desperate war. Gilbert has no bandwidth to supply his feelings. These lives vanished too fast to remember, too fast to be respected as lives.

Gilbert stood up and walked to the woods behind the camp, lighted a cigarette.

The sky in Russia looked rather vast and mysterious. Large trees spreading barely in the forest, connected the sky and the earth. You rarely can hear the birds. Solitude. Solitude

ruled everything here, in every season. Gilbert was once enchanted by such amazing open view when he first arrived here, though it turned out to be the scene in his nightmare in the

end.

Gilbert intended to go back when the cigarette burned its half way out, an unfamiliar figure suddenly broke into his horizon.

Well, it was not exactly unfamiliar to Gilbert - he got to know him at least 5 minutes ago in the new recruits.

"Heil Hilter!" The "unfamiliar" figure stopped himself immediately and saluted to Gilbert.

"Heil Hilter." Gilbert greeted back by nodding his head slightly "Alright, Soldat. What do you want from me?"

The response he received was silence. A tolerate silence.

"I am TALKING to you, Soldat." Gilbert said irritatingly "Have you ever been taught how to talk with your superior?"

"I... just want to find a place to... release myself, Hauptmann." Young man confessed.

Gilbert hesitated for one second and laughed out. "What's your name again?" He asked aggressively.

"Ludwig Beilschmidt." Young man answered, and tried to explain "I introduced myself when..."

"I didn't listen." Gilbert interrupted him, stubbed out his cigarette, stared at the young man "So Ludwig, tell me, did you get a nickname or something like that? I don't think they

gonna give up the tradition."

"They call me WEST, Hauptmann." Ludwig was honest.

"Aha so this time are the orientations. Alright Fraulein, I'll call you WEST from now on." Gilbert patted on Ludwig's shoulder "enjoy peeing, West. Guess you don't need me to witness

here."

"Ja wohl, Hauptmann."

With this unexpected serious salute to the joke, Gilbert shook his head and left.

03.

The best way to tell the difference between a freshman and an old fox was listening what they were gossiping.

Usually the new recruits would bulling on the plans after the war, the old fellows would never join the conversation. They all knew, you will only fallen further and further into the

quagmire of the war. And it's becoming clearer and clearer, they stood on the wrong side, unfortunately.

Nobody could skip the first step - joined the army and grown up from a freshman, be faithful and loyal to the nation has been considered as the obligation and liability of a MAN.

However, the war itself was something more than they can imagine. The simple decision actually also meant murdering, being numb to the death, losing humanity and turning to the

war machine which was only able to carry out the orders.

They were the weapons of the country, sometimes worked out excellently, sometimes failed in missions - they died with honor or nothing.

So they would rather be quiet, tried not to influence those young men, let them move on with their fragile faith and dreams - you always need an excuse to support the murder.

Gilbert was sitting with the other two Oberleutnante at the fire, smoking. In fact he had been frightened by his free time - he can't stop thinking - the battles were still on in his mind, 

the sounds of gunshots and bombs repeated like echos in his ears. Someone asked "Gilbert, what are you fighting for?" "Vaterland" He would answer, with conviction.

No wonder the answer remained unchanged and undoubted - it was the answer from the beginning - there's no answer afterwards.

Gilbert turned around and saw his soldiers were having an exciting chat, everyone talked delightedly, except one person.

He is called Ludwig, Gilbert recalled.

He has a pair of calm blue eyes. Not like others, he was quiet at the moment. He stood against a tree, bowed his head with folded arms in front of the chest, almost fallen asleep.

Gilbert frowned, pointed to Ludwig and said to the Oberleutnant "Interesting. The new guy seldom speaks."

Oberleutnant assumed that Ludwig is a shy character.

"Shy!?" Gilbert shrugged and teased "I bet he has been pretty freaked out by the war!" Then crushed out his cigarette and laughed out loudly, took his mug and walked towards the

camp "Let's wait and see how he performs in the ambush before dawn."  

And Ludwig performed totally all right during the ambush - neither outstanding nor poor, just average.

Gilbert smelled something unusual though, no wonder Ludwig has been called up after the battle.

"Tell me why you choose to serve in the army." Gilbert commanded with a challenging tone.

"Nothing particular, Hauptmann." Ludwig stood impassively straight as a perfect soldier, "It's the obligation of every German man."

Gilbert showed a mean grin, made himself rather handsome. He leaned on an old broken wall "tell me about it, West. Treat me as a normal soldier but not your superior." he stared at

Ludwig "talk about yourself, you are a weird guy, not like other little silly potatoes. You have no passion to the war."

"I had an older brother." Ludwig opened his mouth " who had been called up one year earlier than me. And died soon."

There's no difference between a battlefield and a slaughterhouse. War is fated to be a tragedy. Such meaningless sacrifice couldn't impress Gilbert. As an response, he told Ludwig "I 

had a younger brother as well, lost his life at the west front." 

Then he got a conclusion after sized Ludwig up.

"If he were alive, should be the same age with you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, West." Gilbert patted on Ludwig's shoulder, stepped forward "You don't need a reason to be here. Then you don't get a chance to experience how your faith collapsed."

04.

There’s not much progress in the battle field, while the free time became less and less.

The Russian snipers were still the scary legend, rumors spread among the troops that somebody has been easily shot off when he exposed his head in the trench. It’s as fast as a flash

sliced a watermelon, before everybody realized what had happened.

In the meantime, more and more civilians joined the partisan troops to fight against the Germans. Apparently it's no good news. Lots of mines and hidden bombs have been discovered

more often in normal villages as unrejectable giveaways from the partisan.

The situation became incredibly awful, everybody’s nerves were stretched to breaking point. The new recruits were still hesitated when they were demanded to execute the partisan. 

Ludwig was the only exception, the only man who executed the command completely and efficiently, he was an intelligent machine rather than human being. Even Gilbert was

affected inconceivably by this calm war machine.

The humanity has been buried deeply in the volleys of gunfire, nobody cared about how it could change people. Though the change was extremly dangerous most of the time.

No doubt that Ludwig was the only one who survived from the new recruits, he even saved some other guys. His strong viability made himself somehow special among the soldiers, 

others started to call him "Ludwig" instead of "West".

The less he talked, the more attractive he meant to other people. People wanted to see him being emotional, though they've been disappointed again over again. You can never find

anything alive from his bright blue eyes. The charming blue eyes looked like the plain which has been destroied by the tanks, only deadly peace left.

Gilbert kept calling Ludwig "West", making fun of him sometimes when he got some free moments. He can't convince himself to be not curious about Ludwig, what the hell made him a

perfect war machine. And more curious point is, how he would go back to the normal life after the war.

And Ludwig confessed to Gilbert one day after a beer, he said "I felt relieved when I gave up the humanity in me."

No need to be responsible to one's own behavior, no need to care about the ethics - because there's one unbreakable reason. Obey. Obey. And obey.

"I suppose it's the easiest principle to rescue yourself, Hauptmann." Ludwig looked at Gilbert with a bit tipsy "It applies to you as well, I knew it."

Gilbert moved a bit closer to Ludwig, with held a mug filled with beer in the hand, proceeded their conversation friendly.

The soldiers tried to grill the stolen lamb on the fire. Gilbert stared at the wood burned in the fire, can't stopping the strange feeling. He was not able to make his own life differently

from the wood in the fire, though he really wanted to.

Few days later, the battle started again. The German troops lost the initiative in the war, while the stocks of ammunition were running low and more people got killed.

The only thing kept increasing were new missions, without any reinforcements though.

Gilbert forced himself to ignore the weary ganz from the soldiers, gave his commands as usual, with a common tone. Maybe he figured out already, there's no other place than the

battle field to value the soldiers.

The way of retreat haven't exsited even in the dreams.

 

05.

Ludiwg got injured in a bloody street fighting.

The Russian snipers hid in the bunker and shot on him with pinpoint accuracy. The bullet went through Ludwig's left leg, made him disabled immediately.

Gilbert was about to ask how Ludwig feels after killed the vile hidden sniper, heard Ludwig saying "Go ahead and get our place back, I'll stay here and supply you guys."

Everything was ready once he finished his words, bunches of bullets rushed to them like something would never hurt. Gilbert counted down the time to reload his magzine quietly.

"Los!"

The whole troops rushed to the enemy when Ludwig started to shoot like crazy. Only one third went through the bullet rain and arrived at the bunker at the end. Lead by Gilbert, they

mopped up the remaining Red Army and started to check the left over materials. Suddenly somebody yelled out "Tank!"

Gilbert's body reacted even faster than his brain, he hid himself somewhere in the bunker and stuffed his ears.

The bomb exploded so close that Gilbert couldn't recover from the endless buzzing in his ears for quite a while. He checked immediately after the explosion to see how many people left. 

And he got two.

Gilbert looked up through the window to where Ludwig stayed - it has been bombed to a heap of ruins.

A sharp heartache attacked Gilbert all of a sudden, he was wondering, he had no time to switch on his feelings and emotions.

"Philipp" Gilbert called one guy, recognized that he almost lost his voice "I guess the telegraph still works, try to contact our headquarter if there's any other instruction."

"We are now the moving targets of the Russian, Hauptmann." Somebody declared.

"Obey my command!" Gilbert shouted.

"Ja wohl! Hauptmann!"

Gilbert decided to go and say goodbye to Ludwig after all the arrangements.

He wanted to see him, alive or dead, he was clear, how this guy meant to him.

Cleaned up himself a bit, he stood up and picked up his rifle, walked to Ludwig haltingly along the wall.

Ludwig had been found under a large stone board, two third of his body buried under the board. He was bleeding, with half-opened eyes.

Gilbert bended himself down right beside Ludwig, touched on Ludwig's wrist with a trembling hand - his pulse was too weak to recognize.

"Do you... have any word?" Gilbert can hardly make a proper sound

Ludwig nodded his head with great efforts. The blue eyes shined deathly still, no difference as before. However, Gilbert saw something covered by the false appearance of peace - the

rage was like the roar of a trapped wild animal. 

He struggled with the chains but nothing worked out, because the resistance and suspections have been oppressed for ages, way too long to release.

Gilbert found out a piece of paper from Ludwig's pocket, it was a family photo. Handwritings covered the back side.

Besides the photo, Gilbert also got a bottle cap.

He recognized it immediately. It's from the local German dark beer they got last time when they were hunderds miles away from the hometown. He opened the beer for Ludwig by a

tricky bite.

Gilbert was driven by a inexpressibly emotion that almost tore him up.

Ludwig tried to give him a smile.

It's the first time he wanted to smile, could also be the last time.

"Du... du siehst genauso aus wie mein Bruder." Ludwig struggled to spend all his life to speak "Ich..."

"Sprich nicht mehr..." Gilbert lost his voice completely, he saw there're drops fallen on Ludwig's dusty face.

Ludwig stopped talking, he stared at Gilbert without blinking, with his peaceful eyes.

Once he closed his eyes, his pulse was gone.

Gilbert frozed for a while, took off Ludwig's nameplate from the neck, hung it together with his own in front of his chest, laid right beside the heart.

Then he back to the fully ruined bunker, resolutely, without any regret.

The headquarter commanded them to withdraw, gave up this useless bunker.

With just one word, all the sacrifices they made deserved nothing.

They were used to it anyway.

06.

Few months ago. Stars were shining in the sky in a gloomy night.

That was the night before a hard battle, several bunches of German dark beer had been delivered to the front as a great encourage to the soldiers. The whole troop were celebrating as

if tomorrow will never come.

Gilbert went through the crowds, sat close to Ludwig, grabbed the beer from his hand.

Ludwig gave a confused face to Gilbert.

"Do you know, West," his eye shined like the stars "It's me who always opening beer for my younger brother."

Ludwig realized that Gilbert was a bit drunk, so he didn't move, just let Gilbert took his beer and opened it by teeth.

"Here you go." Gilbert passed back the beer "You are very welcome, West! Enjoy!"

Except the returned beer, Ludwig received several heavy fists on the shoulder as well.

Then Gilbert staggered to his feet, walked to the crowds in drunken steps. Left his loud laugh behind, together with Ludwig, who kept his eyes fixed on Gilbert's back until he

disappeared in the crowds.

Ludwig picked up the bottle cap from the dirty ground, put it into his pocket at the left chest.

Then he sipped his priceless beer while dropped his sight in the endless unknown universe.

Actually he had a thought at that moment - If someday, he survived the war, he get to ask "Gilbert, would you mind to be my older brother?"

END.